By Triston
January 13, 2014
“Now who’s idea was it to go on a vacation at the site of an Indian burial ground where the haunted toy factory use to be until it burned down and replaced by the summer camp where all those teenagers disappeared with a tough talking jock, a cheerleader, and a preppy teenager?” said Triston sarcastically, taking the situation less than what it is.
“I don’t even remember why we brought you along.” Said the jock.
“I used to be one of the campers here that you guys forgot about.”
“We weren’t the seniors at the summer camp! We said this a hundred times!”
“Well in these stories you’re all kind of the same!”
“What stor-“The jock almost finished saying, before the killer started pounding on the door again.
“Open up, and I’ll take it easy on you guys!”
“Okay.” said Triston
“Really?”
“No.”
“I’m gonna kill you all!”
“Not if I use my chain saw! Rea-re-re-r-re-r-r-r-r-r!” shouted Triston, imitating a chainsaw. The pounding on the door stopped.
“What are we going to do?” said the cheer leader.
“We could always go to the second floor of the log cabin and hide with the lights off.” Said Mrs. Preppy.
“Well, since you have the survival skills of a lemming, and for some odd reason you’re probably going to be the only one that lives, so were going to ignore you and sit together in this room with the lights on, with our backs to the wall, away from windows, and tell stories to calm our nerves.” said Triston.
Where did you learn all this?” the three high school kids said in unison.
“Well, I read the Swiss family Robinsons a couple, and I also saw Castaway, but since we don’t have a volley ball that we can feel sympathetic for, we have to tell stories to calm our nerves.”
“Ok.” They said again in unison, reminding Triston of the Olsen twins from Steven Kubrick’s “The Shining.”
“Ok then.” said Triston. “I’ll go first. In school, I learned about the five attributes of a learner. “The first attribute is the attributes of a learner, which seems kind of weird because if there are five attributes to a learner and a learner is one of them… Don’t get me started on It.” said Triston. “A learner is someone who is becoming self-directed and resilient in solving problems, like the killer outside who is trying to figure out how to get inside the cabin. I feel that I used to use this while I played hockey, when the team did a difficult play and we had to overcome it, or solve the problem, but if this follows the pattern of the Evil dead, and I survive, I’m gonna be missing a limb. That kind of takes hockey out of the picture. I also used to use this in school…yeah, I know, learning in school, shocking! When we had a difficult problem in math or science or whatever, we had to use the attributes of a learner! Ahhhhhhhh! But the attributes of a thinker also goes along with this. The attributes of a thinker is a person who uses back ground knowledge, utilizes a variety of thinking strategies, almost like how the killer uses a variety of sharp, pointy things. Also, a thinker exhibits the attitudes of a careful and conscientious thinker. Unlike the killer, who just pounds on the door!” The group perked up their ears, waiting for a burst of anger from the killer, but heard nothing.
“Using my survival skills, and my horror movie knowledge, it’s better to not learn your names as only one person, if any of us, is going to survive. So I’ve come up with nick names for all of you so we don’t have to learn actual names and feel bad about your deaths.” said Triston, who was excited to not talk about school. “You, my preppy young friend, will be Preppy
“Yeah!” said Preppy
“Our cheer leader friend here seems like the kind who walks against the crowd, so I’ll name you Rebel Yell”
“Whatever.” Said Rebel Yell
“Finally, our testosterone oozing friend over here will be named “Meat head.”
“Hey, I find that stereotypical!” said Meathead
“It’s a horror movie, were all stereotypical.” said Triston.
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